Sunday, October 26, 2008

Closure

I think the sentiment is pervasive among this batch of colleagues - an extreme sense of sadness and loss, somehow, that it's the end of a 6-month period. Sure, we've all got out run-ins with a couple of people, but they are never huge affairs and are more entertaining cum annoying than anything else. For most part. But other than that, it's been pure heaven working with these people.

I have made some truly fantastic friends, and found the best in some people.

Now, about the next step forward (not strictly true - I'm getting no nearer to my destination). We had a sort of briefing last Friday and also a meet-up with some people. A friend and I both felt that the scenario was blatantly sugar-coated. It's very likely to be a full 6 months of extreme pain, bullying and politics (wow, imagine if I could smell the politics even within the 2-hour briefing!) As I mentioned a few posts down, a few life-altering things were set into action over the last few weeks. Sigh. It's going to be a rough, bumpy road ahead. A lot of these things have been weighing on my mind, and the worrying had really been eating into me. Waking up almost every morning brooding over the same things is no joke at all. We'll just need to take it one step at a time. Sometimes, it's so much better to keep your thoughts to yourself, I've decided. I wonder how much I can actually fend off before I bite the dust, go on a rampage and get admitted to an asylum.

Kept telling myself to look much further ahead. (I ain't even going to think about the 2 years after these awful upcoming 6 months). This time, it's an opportunity to start again, and I'm determined not to make the same mistakes again. As a wonderful collegue just told me last night, medicine is a life-long career, so it's just 6 months out of all these years after all.

I'm actually finishing up this post in W54's MO room, on my very last day here which also happens to be my MO3 call. It's a strange feeling - wishing that I weren't on call, while on the other hand feeling like I just can't get enough of this familiar place. And saying goodbye to some of the best nurses around, especially my old friends in W64 - they will all be sorely missed. All those fond memories of sitting around with them on call and bitching about everything under the sun. If and when I do decide to persue a different path and come back at the end of 2.5 years though, many of them would have moved on. Really hate this sort of feeling.

Wenky
9:03 AM