Sunday, April 15, 2007
Finally back from a whole night of pseudo-partying. Felt really sleepy and lethargic during the second one, which was undoubtedly the more fun gathering. Perhaps it's the 3-hour dance practice this morning, or the last couple of days of gardening.
The birthday girl's husband is a doc, and I was reminded that this is probably the very last chance I have of a proper, long holiday. As fate would have it, my dream NZ holiday couldn't materialise. It's so unfair, while Yx gets to holiday in LA and Toronto soon. =( Feeling pretty unhappy actually. Would love to take a break, I really would love to.
What do you do when an opportunity has already been lost, and you have absolutely no control over it?
I'm doing what I can to make this ruined holiday as good as it can get for myself, but people are intruding upon in. It's already ruined, so fucking give me a break. Just let me do what I wish to do.
I dunno. There's a lot of bottled-up unhappiness inside me, which may be why I have been exploding in fits of anger the last couple of weeks.
***
Had been feeling (falsely?) positive about what's coming up for the next 3 years, although we all know that it's not going be nice at all. Need to come up with a proper routine for entertainment through it all, to keep myself sane. Finding time to fit in my gross schedule would be difficult.
Just having a sad night. It happens.
Wenky
12:13 AM
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