Thursday, June 07, 2007
1 month of driving home alone, of talking to Brownie instead about every shitty thing that happens to me in the day, of wondering how long I can really last before the Code Blue team attends to me, of questioning why I'm not more resilient.
And I was reminded during a conversation, with a tiny little pang of sadness, that many of those of the Order of Nightingale are here in a foreign country alone and that sometimes they cry, yearning for their families. I wondered who they go home to after work, and how I would have done, had I been in their shoes. I had a taste of it last May - a mere 4 weeks of it - and it wasn't pleasant even without nastiness happening. Some of them had aspirations, dreams, and being here is sometimes just an interim means of getting by because they had opportunities lost to them.
We have to count our blessings, sometimes. It's true - they get MUCH less shit than we do (figuratively, of course), frequent and probably compulsory breaks, sometimes a little more pay than us and 2 days off after a night shift. I admit that I have my grudges sometimes - and I have even blacklisted some, and categorised them .. there IS a general trend, according to where they came from, but even then there are always black sheep in every herd. Sometimes, if the luxury of time comes by, or when you're waiting outside the CT rooms accompanying a DIL case, take a little time off yourself. Have some real conversation, and you'll learn about the Spanish conquest, of the flora and fauna, of the sunset over Sibu. We're all just innocent victims of institutionalisation, all struggling in our own little ways to make it through the day.
****
Enjoying my very short break so far - had a go at polishing the car, it actually didn't make much of a difference visually, but it felt so smooth and creamy I had difficulty taking my paws off the car. Got my haircut done as well, and did a tad of automobile accessory shopping at the very excellent DIY store in Vivocity basement 2. Fixed up part of the garden as well.
Sad day tomorrow morning, but maybe I'll get past that.
Wenky
9:30 PM
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