Had one last session in the kitchen today, I just have no idea when's the next time I can cook up a pot of something just for the heck of it. While we're on this subject, my apologies for the delay in posting up my recipe for bouillabaisse with sauce rouille - the version I made, from Provence, is simply too complicated, and I'm having trouble recalling exactly what I did. That, and the cost! Almost $100 for the raw materials for just one dish.
Made up this batch of Mini Toasts with Yx tonight, it was well-received. Most were adventurous in how the flavours blended together, with the exception of the old-time favourite, mini toasts with shrimp. Recipe has been posted up on Gastronomia!
Had a very disagreeable day - starting with the swollen eye, followed by colleagues CLAIMING that I've changed my specs when in fact, I do not usually even wear them. To cap it all, today's procedures session was utterly worthless. Come on ... anyone can do venepuncture and IV cannulation on a fake arm. Got slightly pissed off towards the end, because minutes of our priceless - in the words of a senior - pre-work time are being unpurposefully used. Adding insult to injury, they actually issued us a "certificate of attendance" for today's rubbish. What are we supposed to do with that, blow it up, frame it in gilded gold and hang it round our necks?
Just feeling slightly irritable. Met up with 2 insurance agents as well, all the fixed costs are getting very prohibitive. Loans, insurance, etc. EW sported a new hairdo today that looked good on her though! Haha .. EW, you should do that more often! And I found out that I wasn't the only victim of a Carrie re-enactment (refer to the post on "The Carrie Episode" on first call during SIP) - Hamsup ad Rit got it too. Getting alarmed by the lack of certain erm ... adjunct equipment I was so used to during SIP.
Going to spend tomorrow collecting my photographs (which no doubt will end up horrible), having a nice dinner with ex-CG mates, and growing infusoria for the Triops. Yes, I shall start on them.
Time for a shower and to r/v eye. Tired out from learning the Shim Sham from Yx just now.
Still swollen after prednisolone and chloram. Sick!!
But ooh, just discovered another excellent band - why did I ever miss out on them?!? Try to listen to a selection of Royal Crown Revue's music if you're a Swing fan, it's got loads of character and most are very, very danceable. Their website has a nice sample selection!
Yay! Haha .. end of the bulk of the orientation, the test today was not as gross as I thought it would be. They had to pass all of us anyway.
Well, just one things I really need to get down to doing - been procrastinating for so long! Shall try to hatch the second generation of Triops. Perhaps, it'll be a good reminder of some normality in life.
****
Woke up this morning with an intense pain in the right eye, it started since last night. Extremely alarmed. I tried to invert my own eyelids to check for foreign bodies, but failed. Why is it that I can do it for other people but not on myself? The eye started turning extremely red and watery, and refused to open up fully. In a moment of desperation, I filled up a giant syringe with saline and squirted jet after jet into the eye, and under the upper lid (that's where the pain is the most intense). I kinda gave up after a while, and now it's miraculously getting much better.
Got back into the room to get some fluorescein strips to check for corneal abrasion, but HECK. I used it up on Brownie!! Seriously worried now, I'll probably cover with some chloramphenicol and steroids in the meantime. =( Nasty thing to happen on a weekend.
Brooding mood? I most certainly hope you didn't mean it as a paternal mood, Monty. Not at this time, at any rate! Perhaps I was subconsciously adopting them as surrogates, that's possible. But that'd mean more kids on top of the current Naughty Boy. Anyway, just a few farewell shots to share. I checked again, they most certainly aren't coming back - the nest's empty today.
1. "What's that strange bird near the nest?", we wondered.
2. The cute little thing. Should have given it a name - or maybe not.
3. Provisional flying license. Lesson #1 - Daddy's right at the top of the bouganvillea tree, can you spot Mommy?
4. Mommy bird - all in a day's work!
5. Daddy bird looking all handsome with his bib - at certain angles, the bib's actually an irridiscent blue colour, not quite black.
Right, before I slip back into the blues, just a little something. Valda's mom dropped by today to get some books that YX helped her buy, and brought gifts for the 2 of us! Oh dear. It was totally undeserved. It's like Fragrance Month, that just added 2 more small bottles to the repertoire. They're similar in their base - with moody, dark, sombre, smokey (yes, another one of those smokey colongues, Dopey!!), and very woody ... just about perfect! =)
Feeling really drained already, it just gets worse everyday because of the fatigue building up without any reprieve. Have to force some sleep through the weekend, if I don't want to end up on the rescucitation trolley myself on Wed/Thurs.
And just starting to learn that insurance agents ARE truly irritating. Got to get it done, anyway.
We were just back home today, tired out and yearning for a good rest. I must have been dazed, for she heard a commotion outside the window (I didn't) - a chorus of high-pitched chirping which prompted us to peep through the curtains. There, swinging on the Nepenthes vine on which the sunbirds had made their nest, was a totally foreign bird. It was no doubt a sunbird as well, but it looked strange. It had barely a stump of a tail and strangely-fluffy feathers that made it look much bigger than the sunbirds we were used to.
Finally, the baby chick is being weaned out of its nest today.
The baby's parents were perched on a bouganvillea tree about 3 metres away, chirruping continuously. Finally, Mommy bird fluttered over to the baby, and back to the bouganvillea. More chirping for the next few minutes. Without warning, in a sudden flurry of fluffy yellow wings, the baby took flight, landing in the bouganvillea tree.
We finally understood the rules of the game.
Mommy and Daddy birds would fly short distances as a demonstration, and chirp encouragingly for the baby to follow suit. If baby didn't get it, they would fly back by its side, and do it all over again.
The game continued in this line for 10 minutes or so, and while we were both watching and observing intently, the trio took flight simultaneously. They landed first in the neighbour's palm tree, and barely a second later, proceeded to the tree outside my gates, and again and again, and further and further. We saw their tiny bodies going, going, going, and then they were gone. All that were left of my companions over the last 2 months were the incessant high-pitched choruses of "Come on! Come on!" ; and now, even that is no more.
We sat there, gazing at the fast-approaching storm and the inevitable darkness of dusk, with an unexplained feeling of loss gnawing inside. They were significant to me in their own little ways. The privilge of watching their masterful craft of nest-building. The fascination at their dedication and brooding. The warmth of watching them take turns in feeding the chicks. And of course, their cheery little chirps. Most of all, they were part of a memorable phase in life, gracing me with their presence from revision times till now when it's all over/starting again. The feeling of loss rather intensified at these thoughts.
Off to bed now, with their song in my dreams and a place in my memory.
Had a rather pleasant day, except for the rude shock this morning when I learnt that I'll be on call on my very first day on the job. At least better now than on the day itself anyway! Learning to prep myself mentally for the frightful day. Hah, even took a few pics of myself today (siao, I know ...) as a record. Shall stitch the photos up after some time as a pictorial story on how you:
1. Age 2. Get sadder 3. Become sombre 4. Lapse into psychosis
throughout the years.
Time for rest.
****
Gasp! I splurged so badly tonight! Been eyeing this fragrance for the last year or 2 - well actually, "eyeing" would be an imprecise term, seeing that I've actually used the body foam before. Went there to scout for a larger bottle of body foam, and ended up buying a bottle of the EDC instead. Not too bad, we got a 100ml bottle of EDC, 2 travel EDCs and 2 bottles of body lotion from the same fragrance for free! Way to go, Tangs! Really like the "au the blanc" range, it's extremely versatile for both everyday use and formal events. Slightly floral though, and was shocked when told it's actually unisex - so Yx got that free 100ml bottle, hehehe.
Some frightful revelations about more people who actually have read this blog - oh dear. It's starting to get scary, lol.
Just a few heres-and-theres, as a record of sorts. (I actually use this blog as a brief diary - that was how I planned this dental appointment, gauging the time needed to recover by the previous episode as documented.)
1. Bumped into 2 secondary schoolteachers on our night out with Chun and Monty. Oooh, flavourful speculations after that about where/how they live! And the last time I saw KHY in that kind of outfit (pajamas) was actually in Nepal.
2. Saw my first ever bartop dance with them as well. Unfortunately, it was utterly distasteful. These people need to learn how to dance.
3. 1 tick on my side. Cryptic, but meant to be. Just for personal perusal and epidemiology.
4. Today's session was a complete waste of time, although Ian pulled a ruddy brilliant prank on Harv.
That's it! Off for a not-so-early night and an ultra-early day.
I'm staring at a small little plastic bag right now - one of those ordinary-looking ones you get from buying chips or a small canned drink. Inside is this dried up little fruit. An okra, to be exact, given to me by a rather famous actor's wife.
I was supposed to have planted these seeds by now, and she promised that they would grow up to be okra of garguantian proportions. A stark reminder of the end of the end, what have been accomplished, and what had not. Seems like I always end my holidays with such similar summaries, eh?
Honestly though, the one biggest thing that I had not managed to do during the last 4 weeks was to enjoy myself. I did, in a rather demure way, but not thoroughly and intensely. Which you'd think would be the case, after so many years of slogging it out. My idea of a thorough and intense holiday? I suppose a really exciting getaway perhaps, with endless nights of partying, boxes of imported plants, late night rendezvous at coral wholesale farms, daily skating and throwing a huge dance party and Lindy'ing till 4am. Wait a minute - I actually did the dancing. But heck - limitations would be $, and most importantly, the fact that the REAL holiday started after 9 April, which left little time to pick up the wreckage even. To tell the truth, my books are still piled up in a corner - I simply couldn't bring myself to touch another one of those ever again. Not after they've been read cover-to-cover and recited and revised in every possible way, ad nauseum.
Had a talk about this with Yx actually, a couple of weeks back. I suppose I've been too telescopic about everything. In fact, loads had been done, and I've been enjoying myself, albeit in different ways. Every long holiday, for example, I will embark on a major (and usually domestic) project. Some years it was re-doing the interior of much of the house - which ended us up with new toilet lights, shower curtains in the auxilliary toilet that was 1 foot too short, and a lovely re-grouting of the tiles; remember that one? And sometimes it was the tank - building a new hood, getting everything back in line, re-scaping the rocks. Or, writing new arrangements of major scores for the electone, including "Meditation from Thais" by Masssenet and "The Point of No Return" - none of which ever got completed, alas! This year, it was the installation of the garden irrigation, and a few related things like repotting. And, of course, fixing up the aquarium chiller. And holiday-wise, I managed to scrape out quite an exciting trip to Cameron Highlands, and completed a full VCD of the trip including some video editing. Not too shabby, in retrospect!
It all unofficially starts tomorrow. Orientation week, a crash course in politics, enduring torture, wayang'ing, and not freaking out in the face of collapsed patients. And a week later, thrown into the deep end of the pool. The responsibilities are galling, seriously. I still don't quite know what to think of the entire thing. The whole affair, starting from the end of surgical SIP to the start of the long, arduous period of revision, to the very traumatic and long-drawn examinations, to right now, all seem too surreal. It still feels like the start of the final year for me, like the last 6 months have been but a long, long, long, horrid, horrid, horrid dream. The true dream lies in front of me, right now, but something deep down inside is rejecting the entire thing. Yet another maladaptive behavior of the brain, I'm dead sure of it. Time to dig out giant psychiatric volumes again.
Time to wake up from the slumber, accept the facts as they are, and get on with it. New phases in life come all too quickly, but as again, once you're in the thick of it, much of these thoughts become once again suppressed. Goodness knows when they'll surface once more, although I have a shrewd idea when.
Perhaps, it's time to mark out an area to sow those okra seeds, and get things going once more.
Great, just remembered today that I missed out on doing something REALLY important! Shit, shit, shit. Nothing can be done about that now, although YX who worked in HR before reassured me that this apparently happens all the time. Shall have to wait out the weekend then. Going off to Holland V tonight for food! Gosh, big-time splurging this month.
Also shopping around for insurance policies. Definitely need some HIV cover, although I'm obsessively particular about needle safety - but still. You never know when it'll happen. These horrid things are not cheap though, and I'm looking at easily $100+ a month if I'm getting everything thrown in together. Plus there's this general mistrust of anything that sounds too good to be true.
Some slight apprehension about what's to come. Seriously. The true period of having no life is about to start.
Feeling a little irritated - I'd love to take a nice photograph for my employment pass, but guess what? I now look like I've got a giant gobstopper in my cheek, so says Yx. Which I think is quite an understatement. =\ So yeah .. no photo-taking for now. Been getting slightly stressed up, receiving all sorts of letters (most of them re: "you need to come for this and that briefing") and reading survival guides and all that tosh. Just realised that I didn't do my Slavery-In-Progress there, so I have ABSOLUTELY no idea where things are kept, and protocols etc. Dopey, EW - I may need a little help!! I'm hoping there are phlebotomists there?
A few pics (again! Been spending my last days of rest taking photographs??)
New (but second hand) Teco chiller, taken apart to top up refrigerant. Pic taken during a test run.
The cover for the unit is on the right, which had been taken off. The one on the left is my old, finally-defeated, made-in-China chiller.
GARDEN SERIES, PART II
Control module for entire garden, run off a single tap outlet. Ahh. I wish so much that I had 2 taps, it would make my job so much easier! The white hose was the problematic one that kept bursting. Notice the ends of the white hose have those nice, lurid yellow sockets? That was the solution - which was included in the package actually, DUH. What happens is that when the timer is off, the tap is still on and therefore there's a buildup of pressure within the white hose and the yellow, horizontal thing (the 4-way diverter), and obviously the diverter can't burst so the pipe did. Great.
Green line is to the hosereel, for car/floor/human washing. And Brownie showers.
Black line is UV-resistant hose that supplies the misting etc. Big fat yellow box with knobs is the waterproof timer. Oooh talking about these - I just found out that Home Fix DIY has another brand of timers etc that look so much sweeter, I regretted this yellow stuff at once! Hah .. but heck, whatever works. Had a fly time drilling the wall to stick the diverter on. And yes, the garden wall desperately needs a fresh coat of paint.
Snow on the Sahara =) And waiting for this month's utility bill in trepidation. New chiller + burst pipes = a long talk with dad.
Current state of the garden in phase II: a dreadful mess. Doing a full repotting of every single plant. Almost done though!!
Ah, the mozzies people are here again, peeking around our used underwear and crawling over compost (read: decomposed crap) with little pipettes in hand, trying to collect mozzie larvae. Kinda reminds me of little kids fishing in canals. The man today was nice, in contrast to a previous visit by an ultimate snob. He was pretty concerned today after seeing my giant water trays, but deflated significantly after I demonstrated the 4-times-daily water changing mechanism (and the lack of larvae for his lunch). So we ended up chatting a bit about my plants instead (why is it that people make a fuss out of them??) and I had to entertain the strangest questions like whether Nepenthes catch a lot of mozzies etc.
Honestly, is this the way to go about it? They're pretty much picking up behind the mozzies, instead of DEALING with them. As I have ranted about before, after I made known the local practice of larvae-catching and fine-slapping to a large group of foreign CPers, it was followed by a commotion about invasion of private property and lack of common sense and etc etc. Go take a walk in any govt-owned area. Public drains, parks (fallen leaves esp. in secondary forest areas), the backyard of their own offices - perhaps I shall start a Fine-The-Govt drive! Lmao.
IMO, transfer these guys to meaningful jobs, and use that money instead for real R&D. If we are to spend the dough on stuff like genetics and stem cell research, what better issue to tackle first, than what is truly a preventable menace? Here are some suggestions, although I doubt that even if these were to be read, they would hardly penetrate the impossibly-thick skulls of our dear friends sitting in the office Up There.
1. GM mosquitoes with recessive fatal genes. It's unheard of, but come on. What are those millions for then?
2. Biological mozzie poisons. Much like how quinine deals with malaria, there must be something out there that's harmless to humans, but the moment they lap up our poisoned blood, BAM!
3. Mozzie-specific viral infections.
4. Biological mozzie control. Breed and release stuff like dragonflies? That no one does it, doesn't mean it can't be done - they just didn't have a need to. There are commercially-available lacewings, nematodes and ladybugs, and trust me, if the States had an issue with mozzies as we do, I'm willing to bet my bottle of Cointreau that dragonflies would also be on that list.
5. Better yet - install one of those new CO2-emitting mozzie traps as a way of showing us how our tax money is being used. These cover a huge area, so a few machines in every estate should do the job nicely.
On a different note, I'm so touched by this family friend. He helped me get my new chiller up and working over the last 2 days, adamantly refused any payment and just called me up to make sure it's working ok and that I didn't get zapped to death.
OK, I think the chiller is working. Going to monitor it today to see how often it kicks in.
But too late, 2 of my Acropora underwent RTN (rapid tissue necrosis) from the heat stress, and I also lost a very nice neon green octopus coral. Fack. I'm going to remove the ground wire later and test if there's still a current leak, and probably try to install a permanent ground - the current one is attached to the chiller at one end and poked directly and insecurely into the mains at the other (I hear my primary school science teacher saying, "You do not poke ANYTHING directly into the mains!!!!").
Off to finish up the garden. Still a wee bit (not really) left to do:
1) Finish repotting all - ALL - the CPs 2) Dump S.flava var. cuprea into the fridge for dormancy 3) Prepare S.leucophylla x oreophila for dormancy 4) Divide S. x umlauftiana 5) Extend misting system in Nepenthes area - I need 2 more misters 6) Complete irrigation circuit through the entire garden
Whoa! A lot to do! And eagerly awaiting a new N.clipeata plant a few weeks later, this one is purportedly from a totally different gene pool than the 4 usual ones from Andreas Wistuba in cultivation.
Face is still swollen, and I can't quite open my mouth. This is awful - there's a really nice birthday dinner coming up on Fri, and it's seriously upsetting not to be able to eat anything. As if I had anything good to eat for the last 7 days. =(
Chiller's not really working well, just topped up the refrigerant today. Got zapped by it just now, and found that the silly thing isn't grounded. And temps dropped by 1C over the last 4 hours, which is NOT GOOD at all. Fuck.
Had the time to thoroughly read through certain terms and conditions relating to my job-to-be.
1. Employees who commit any of the offences will be dismissed: ...etc etc ... "Moral turpitude". Had a really good laugh at the wording of this clause. Starkly reminded me of that memorable incident of The Bitch voicing his opinions while in command school.
2. ... are required to declare to their HOD and HR dept when they receive the following: perishable gifts (eg food). The HOD will then arrange for the gift to be shared amongst staff in the dept. Ooops. So it's a rule! I've always thought people shared food out of goodwill. Does anyone want a lick of the lollypop someone gave me? ;)
Alas. Was way too busy today to fix up food to bring to a meeting tonight, we wanted to bring the stuff as a surprise. Tired out now, only managed to repot 12 flytraps ... 40 more to go. And eww, there's still the Drosera and Sarracenia.
Anyway, the hummingbird babies have hatched!!! I see mommy flitting to and fro the nest and feeding the babies - gotta take a footage of it soon.
AT LAST. My aircon's fixed!! The heat had been unearthly, and even fans were ineffective (at 95% humidity, evaporative cooling doesn't work, does it?).
Also bought a Teco RA 240 chiller today, second hand. Sure as the owner's word, the refrigerant had run out so it's actually not functioning at all. Other man's coming over late this evening to put new gas in, I'm hoping it works, otherwise I'll have to return the chiller. Owner claims it cooled his 5-footer to 17C, even though this chiller's rated for 130 gallons only - obviously if I left my old chiller to cool 24/7 it would also reach 17C.
Alrighty, some miscellaneous photographs of the last couple of weeks, followed by the Garden Series. Warning - creepy-crawlies ahead!
1. Lithops. Just during the finals, both Lithops started to split! One of them has completely split, and what a surprise - there were 2 babies inside. Here you can see what's left of the original Lithops before it split.
The second Lithops just starting to split.
2. Nepenthes. One of those I brought back from my trip, N.veitchii from Hose Mountains.
Nepenthes ventricosa.
Nepenthes sanguinea - spotted form.
3. Insects. By a strange twist of fate, we chanced upon an indigenous insect-collector on the trip, and I was like Brownie let loose in a small room filled with kittens. First off, a Dead-leaf mantis. Years and years ago, I used to breed these things. It was such a joy to see them again after such a long time!
Orchid mantis - nymph. Now this one is really uncommon, this is the first time (and most likely the last) that I've ever seen one in the flesh!
Adult orchid mantis - this one moulted after 3 days at my place.
The Sylvia I. This contraption was named after the person who designed and built it together with me, it's a beautiful thing, isn't it? One single tank partitioned into 4, for all 4 of my mantises.
4. Miscellaneous stuff. The naughty boy, doing a naughty thing - sitting on the dining table and grinning at us! Yep, that's the way he smiles when he goes "Ooops, I'm naughty again!" The vase of gebera daisies behind were bought on holiday by XX and YX at $1.50 for a dozen, gasp! And the girls got to hand-pick the blooms, which then were cut down from the plants. Talk about fresh flowers.
The orchid we chose for gran.
Mom's bunch of strawflowers, hanging to dry.
GARDEN SERIES, PART I
Guess what this is?
Work in progress - my usual jungle of Nepenthes plants all taken down...
.. and stashed aside for several days.
New addition for the garden, a morning glory.
Half of the completed work! It's "raining" ! - That's the misting system on a timer, which turns on the waterworks for 15 minutes every 6 hours. And the grass mat hanging vertically on the left side of the picture - that's what that bundle in the first photograph was. Yx and I picked out 2 of those torches as well, it's looking very much like one of those Survivor shows eh?
A closeup of one of the sprinkler nozzles.
Part II is still work in progress ... sigh. I get so tired each night after so much physical exertion! =(
Had a really great time tonight! Came home with yet another T-shirt to add to my London one, hah .. cheap thrills.
I was pleasantly surprised by the cast for this tour. Raoul wasn't too exciting though, IMO his voice was weak compared to the original London cast. But the Phantom - boy, was he good! A lot of emotion and beauty in that voice.
I usually look forward to my favouritest song, "The Point of No Return". This time though, the Phantom was quite a disappointment. Maybe I'm used to the soundtrack version (thanks again, YX!!), but he wasn't that spectacular during this song. Christine, on the other hand, was MAGNIFICENT. I was actually touched by her voice during this song, and her performance in the final act was wow too.
Carlotta, Piangi and Madame Giry were really good as well! I kinda like Piangi's voice, especially at the part where they rehearsed for "Don Juan Triumphant", haha. And of course, Carlotta during "Poor Fool" was once again extremely entertaining. "Poor fool, he makes me laugh, ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!" - I was singing snatches of this song during the Cameron trip, much to the chagrin of everyone else in the car. Easily one of the most irritating pieces, but second only to YX's nemesis of the song when all the notes arrived (it's stuck in her head tonight - good luck getting THAT one out of your head!)
Oh - just a little tip from YX - if you are going to watch the Phantom, look at the orchestra pit just after the Christine-alone-in-her-room scene ... see the musicians swamped by smoke! =D
As always, the set's amazing, I can't believe how good the backstage crew are. Just a little hitch during tonight's run though, the drapes didn't quite retreat smoothly at the start. Came home having wishful thoughts of being able to buy the travelling version of the chandelier in the future - imagine that thing hanging in the house!
"Past the point of no return - no backward glances: our games of make believe are at an end.
Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend.
What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return, the final threshold, what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return . . . "
Almost done. And in an irritable mood this morning, shouted at people.
Fixed hose connection (Dad was trying to interfere ...) and it looks like it'll hold up.
Mom thrashed most of the Fugly plants that they stashed in the garden, we banished them to the area outside (that rarely gets watered). Most of them are ridiculous CNY plants like succulents and kumquats and whatever.
Fixed up half of the giant CP tray irrigation system. Sadly, I don't have the dough for a second water timer, so the plants are getting tap water instead of deionised water for now.
Grr ... irritating neighbours are staring at the water display with green eyes. At least it wasn't as bad as the giant penis plant episode. I'm starting to wonder if someone will start to copy the design for irrigation - these people are plainly so not interesting. Yes, my neighbours (those that garden) are such keeping up with the Jones' kind. Sick.
Oooh, time to go plant-shopping! Have a rough list of want-to-buy plants ready:
(For Nepenthes area) Variegated fig tree Pelargonium - going to plant loads of these to repel mosquitoes Ivy to climb up posts - have 2 pots already
(For CP rack area) Wire mesh for the left side, followed by Ipomoea to climb up the mesh Various begonias for under the rack
(For garden patch area - garden herbs?) Pelargonium for mosquitoes again Bay plant Rosemary Red variegated banana White variegated banana Purple basil - from seed Thunbergia vine
Finally back from a whole night of pseudo-partying. Felt really sleepy and lethargic during the second one, which was undoubtedly the more fun gathering. Perhaps it's the 3-hour dance practice this morning, or the last couple of days of gardening.
The birthday girl's husband is a doc, and I was reminded that this is probably the very last chance I have of a proper, long holiday. As fate would have it, my dream NZ holiday couldn't materialise. It's so unfair, while Yx gets to holiday in LA and Toronto soon. =( Feeling pretty unhappy actually. Would love to take a break, I really would love to.
What do you do when an opportunity has already been lost, and you have absolutely no control over it?
I'm doing what I can to make this ruined holiday as good as it can get for myself, but people are intruding upon in. It's already ruined, so fucking give me a break. Just let me do what I wish to do.
I dunno. There's a lot of bottled-up unhappiness inside me, which may be why I have been exploding in fits of anger the last couple of weeks.
***
Had been feeling (falsely?) positive about what's coming up for the next 3 years, although we all know that it's not going be nice at all. Need to come up with a proper routine for entertainment through it all, to keep myself sane. Finding time to fit in my gross schedule would be difficult.
Cripes. Getting soaked at 8am in the morning is not fun. The pipe burst again last night - feeling extremely upset. I'm now looking at other options of connecting the hose to the tap so that it's more secure.
Done with most of the misting system, but wont be able to do any work today. Not by day, in any case. Might as well - the garden is getting way too wet from repeated test runs and burst pipes. Going to be crappily busy, with 2 birthdays to attend etc etc. Stuff to complete in garden:
1. Once again, explore other options of pipe connection so that it doesn't burst. *update* EUREKA! I found it!! 2. Fix one of the mister heads. 3. Hang up the rest of the plants. 4. Clear up floor space, theres a bunch of very, VERY ugly plants (courtesy of my parents, actually) sitting around. If I had my way, these won't even appear in the garden. 5. Clear out giant CP trays, especially the Utricularia tray (which I suspect is breeding mosquitoes), and the useless flytrap tray. 6. Run an auxilliary line to the 5 CP trays and place mister at bonsai area.
I think that about does it. Will post a pic when it's all done!
Anyway, I'm now on Day 3 of the garden overhaul, it should finish up today. Gran came to visit! Bought her a nice Cattleya orchid to bring home =)
Update:
The garden job is encountering a lot more problems than anticipated. So far, I:
1. Ended up with 3 squashed plants that had to be trimmed radically and re-rooted, 2. Had a burst pipe that flooded for goodness knows how long before my sis discovered it, 3. Gotten soaked through dozens of times from testing the sprinkler system, 4. Got frustrated due to incompatible pipe fittings (FYI, Singapore does NOT use standard 1/2" pipe outputs, i.e. we can't use ANYTHING from the UK or US), 5. Burnt my finger from touching a hot nail. Used a Dremel to drill through the garden wall, and stupidly touched the nail after that, 6. Bitten by mosquitos dozens of times from working at night, 7. Almost fell off the ladder once, 8. Made twice-daily trips to the garden supply stores in Thomson to buy various spare parts like hose connectors etc, 9. Frequented these stores so much I actually earned a lifetime 10% discount membership card, 10. Got grouchy everyday.
Mom and Dad are visiting Gran tomorrow, and told me to clear out some of my totally-new 5-year-old clothes to pass on to my cousins. Hah. Terrible waster. I buy clothes on a whim (not expensive ones, mind), then decide that they're too lurid and never wear them more than once. Arghh .. miss Gran actually. Really wish she would come out together with my parents, would be nice to see her again!! Especially when I missed her birthday this year due to exams. =( So .. I spent the last hour taking out my clothes and sorting them out.
But yet, at the end of the night, I've barely cleared 10% of my wardrobe. Do I use all of that 90% left? Hardly. More like 10%. Of these, about 30% are not fit for passing on to people (night and home clothes), and the remaining 50% of clothes .... make a guess? They're too sentimental for me to dump. Yx remembers my blanket episode.
While flipping through the stuff, things just came by in snatches. Clothes that reminded me of phases in life - like the lurid yellow-and-black striped skating shirt, like my horrible football jerseys that I used while biking (yes, I actually owned JERSEYS. Including, of course, DD100's class "T-shirt", Monty), like the all-too-small work pants and formal shirts I wore when working in Dad's office years ago, like the strange, strange, strange club material. I was aghast at myself tonight, very much so indeed.
And, clothes that reminded me of events in life - like the Nepal T-shirt that had signatures on it, the grey G2K shirt that Yx got me one birthday, the frightful bright purple Harley sweatshirt Nik gave me on a birthday, and one black Versace jeans that mom and I bought at a Daimaru sales so many years ago (very pertinent - that was a period during my teenage years when I perceived my parents being "nicer" to me). Those snippets just flashed through like they were just yesterday, I could even see which rack I picked that Versace jeans out from.
And, of course, the wardrobe from the last 5 years. The sombre stuff. For casual wear, I have a huge pile of polo shirts of all colours (Years 1 & 2) and various jeans (which - alas! - do not fit anymore). For the last 3 years, various workpants and working shirts, and my collection of ties (including Monty & Yanru's crazy yellow cat tie and sheep-making-out tie, and the Bugs Bunny tie I used one Halloween, and a musical stave tie).
Perhaps, if you're in for some reminiscence, flip through your wardrobe carefully - you'll probably end up with more than mere clothes, especially if you're a memory-hoarder like me.
Just feeling a little off tonight. Plenty of triggers to evoke long-forgotten memories and to spur on some snippets of deep thinking.
It's strange when people know you've just graduated, and automatically attach a prefix to your name. As far as I'm concerned, friends do not call me that. Only people who are ill. It's just extremely uncomfortable, and I wonder if my pen will hover over pieces of forms next time, uncertain of which salutation to tick. I wonder.
And later on, a little unplayed drama on the dance floor. Felt a little odd after that, and I told no one what I noticed. Hmmm. My parents must have realised this at some point, I accidentally overheard them while I was in their bathroom tonight. Good. At least my dad still has his eyes open to certain things, in spite of a glass of Johnny Walker. Oh, and we saw a monkey raving on the dance floor tonight! Damn, should have brought a video camera.
But thanks to ZJ and YX, who came even though it was just the 3 of us and my parents' bunch. Apparently Irene, the DJ, liked the first number so much, it was she who insisted on playing a second piece later on.
Have a feeling Dad actually meant tonight to be a celebration of sorts, just that everyone's so busy on a weekday night and few turned up. Cos he later offered to book the club and have a dance party comprising of 50% R&R and 50% Lindy. How odd .. that's as good as 100% Lindy. Ooooh. Would be crazy if we manage to pay the Thomson Jazz band to play. Wonder how much they charge per night?
A few outstanding issues:
1. My aquarium chiller died, temps reached 34C tonight as I forgot to switch off the halides. F*. Need to buy a new one. =(
2. Room's aircon died, repairman will be here tomorrow - I will not. I have learnt my lesson. Then again, it will probably be my fault AGAIN for not being at home. Talk about the Chokey in "Matilda" - either way you lean, you get pricked.
3. New chair for my room arriving on Thurs. Yay! It's gorgeous!
4. New something else to look forward to in May.
5. Some banking to do in May. I need an OUB account I think. Just for those instances where DBS queues are prohibitive.
6. Fork out even more $$ to get a Bellini membership. Need to brush up on social repertoire, tonight's session was disastrous!
7. And yet even more $$ for new clothes. Badly need at least 1 more formal top, 1 more formal bottom, a belt, and casual clothes. And also a nice hat.
Oh ya! One of those things that I wasn't previously in the mood to blog about, lol ... last Friday was Swing @ SAM (Singapore Art Museum) and I taught the workshop for the first time. Ewwwwwww. Very scary experience actually. I don't mind performing, but teaching? Hmm. Anyway, next session (probably not me teaching this time!) will be in May, the first Fri of the month, 7pm. 1 hour dancing workshop followed by 1 hour of dance/practice, and entry is $5.
Thank goodness, it's finally over. Really over! To friends and family who have been so supportive in your own unique ways, I can't say how grateful I am, really. The nightmares were hell, but it's over in the end. From good luck wishes, being there for chats, moral support, a shoulder to cry on during the worst of times, putting up with psychotic episodes and everything else - you know who you all are!
I'm following this up with some saved-up images that I didn't want to publish before today, they'll be interesting.
Just back from doing some major shopping - and I mean major. =) Can't help feeling really bad that my parents still have to pay for things, but hopefully things will change, come May. Got my first posting as well, at least there are 3 others that I'm on really good terms with, and a couple others that I know pretty well. Not to mention that there are other good pals from my old CG that will also be in the same hospital! It'll most likely than not be a new bag of sh*t altogether, but I shall try to take it in my stride. EW, Dopey - let's help one another out, esp. on night calls! =) And yay! Cheap NUS canteen food!!
A few miscellaneous tasks to complete, and a great musical coming up to watch, plus good exercise every saturday. The healing really begins.
Off to Cameron Highlands for the next few days, although it has been marred by the horrid plumbing thing. I'm still unhappy about it, but heck - I'm just going to have fun with plants all by myself. Odd. Everyone's supposed to be up by 6.30, but right now there's not a single sign of life. Got my sis to feed the tank for me, great! Yx liked the blue Acropora, but she didn't think the pink colony was really that pink, haha. Just hope they survive .. we'll see! Acropora and related small polyped scleractinia - aka Sticks/Stones in Yx's terms - are quite difficult to keep. And alas ... my system's a "dirty" one with a tiny skimmer, so it'll be interesting to see how this turns out.
