Thursday, September 28, 2006
"I must have coffee every day - not so much for the caffeine, but because it makes me feel good that despite everything that's going on, I still have that bit of personal time to sit down for a cup of coffee."
My consultant, during tea today.
Yes, we had the luxury of having TEA. =D
Wenky
11:09 PM
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Day 1: Bunch of year 3s standing at a corner, and as I turn around, they stare for a bit before bursting into giggles. I get perplexed.
Day 2: Same bunch of year 3s. One of them suddenly approaches me, and says hi. Next question, "Are you ORD already?". SO. On Day 1, they actually thought I was the new HO until I turned around and they saw my tag. SO. I'm old.
Day 3: A guy - from another group - approaches me to ask for cases. It didn't occur to him that I am NOT a doc, as he called me just that. Same applied to a male nurse, who asked if I could entertain a certain patient's family before I told him who I was. I couldn't help noticing the disbelief in his eyes. GRRRR.
Day 4 (Today): I am SOOOO going to smack anyone who dares insinuate that I'm old.
Oh well, another day, another 4-hour ward round.
Wenky
6:59 AM
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
OMG, day 3 barely started and I'm beat! Not from the long days (ok, partly), but more of the awful 4-hour ward rounds. Got a really nice team though, with a bunch of chirpy, helpful and friendly HOs. Still upset that my plugs don't go in. Also watched a most traumatic catheterisation yesterday as well, and the guy I was trying to cath 2 days ago had BPH so I got stuck halfway through. =\ Discovered that nice people with DM are some of the best to practice plugs on =) Not trying to be evil, but it's true. It's nice when they don't feel that much pain, and I feel so much better about poking things into them. Really, what anaesthetists do should be THE gold standard in plug-setting. Just one TINY prick of local anaesthetic, and we're good to go. We don't use 16G needles, that's true, but whatever happened to primum non nocere? The guilt engulfs me everytime a plug fails. =(
Wenky
6:54 AM
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
Starting SIP tomorrow ... totally mixed bag of feelings, just hope that everything will be ok. There's a hell lot more that's meant to be said, but I guess I'll hold them all in for now.
Pretty happy with my new toy! Part I at least, still waiting for Part II to arrive the Tuesday after next .. a freakishly long wait! Shouldn't have customised the damn thing, I would have received it by next week. Still a tinge of guilt especially after receiving Part I, and feeling all upset about my old one.
BTW, just realised that version 2 of the new iPod is made of some anodised aluminium thingy .. I still very much prefer the old acrylic-based one. Looks much sleeker, IMO.
Wenky
11:18 PM
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Friday, September 22, 2006
Just received Part I in the post.
Wenky
2:45 PM
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Went to the ATM today and discovered I had an alarming $1.03 left in the account! Turns out that Apple's charging system is extremely odd. At the onset, they put the total amount for both items on hold in the account (so it's pending settlement), and as each of the things are delivered, they deduct the price - not from the amount already on hold, but from the account AGAIN - and when both items have been sent out, the amount that was on hold is negated and returned to your account. HUH? WHY DO IT TWICE?? And I thought they were supposed to be efficient! Ended up placing a call to their hotline (which, BTW, is based in Australia - i.e. almost incomprehensible for us) and clarifying the whole thing. They'd better not charge me for the phone call. Freaking shit. All sorts of crap coming up when I'm supposed to be studying for the test!
Wenky
10:38 AM
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Taking this as a brief respite from trying to swallow my ID notes whole, just 2 hours before the test. Yx was telling me of a discussion she had with her Prof yesterday, and I found it highly intruiging. The question is, do we have a true University hospital?
If you do a search on local hospitals, you will find that our so-called university hospital proclaims itself to be an "acute care, tertiary hospital". That, of course, takes it one rank higher than a community hospital. But is it truly a university hospital?
From Yx's discussions, university hospitals function as one of those last-resort, state-of-the-art institutions - the latest technology, the latest treatment modalities in accordance with evidence-based medicine, a vibrant clinical research environment, and expert opinions. When all else fails, refer to a university hospital (I suddenly envision Johns-Hopkins and the like, instead of the drab building we're all so familiar with) - with knowledgeable professors and offers of entering trials for new medications.
Instead, we're stuck with mediocre research, frightful patient workloads, little time off (or encouragement) to immerse in clinical research, and of course, our favourite list of standard medications .. Lasix, Span K, Senna. In Yx's words, a university hospital should not concern itself wholly with profit, patient throughput and meeting the baseline expectations of a hospital - it must be everything a standard hospital is not.
Price notwithstanding, which would you choose?
NUH vs. any of the private hospitals locally?
Johns Hopkins vs. any of the private hosptials in Baltimore?
Wenky
9:23 AM
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
Drumming my fingers on the table, wondering WHEN my stuff will arrive! Part I is arriving sometime before this weekend, but the main stuff ... arghhhhhhhhh. 2 more weeks! 2 bloody long weeks!
Right. At least that's something to look forward to in the midst of SIP.
Broke in my new titanium bearing for the first time since I fitted them in months ago! EXCELLENT.
Wenky
12:07 AM
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
It's in parts because I know for sure that this won't be the only time.
Guess I got delusional about certain people, and how it's perhaps my own attitude that's stopping me from stepping out of my comfort zone. I think it's not me. It's true, it's the first few weeks or never. It probably is rather omnipresent, the difference being the degree it manifests as. Past experiences were good, it's the people, the chemistry. This wasn't, and probably will never be.
**
Made myself a cuppa for tonight, to tide me through this stuff. It's not bad! Here goes:
2 teaspoons of strawberry jam
Dissolve in a mug of hot water
1 satchet each of camomile tea, and Twining's Blackcurrant, Ginseng & Vanilla tea (pray don't ask me WHY I have all these stuff)
Smelt pretty odd at first, but the stuff really blends well together.
**
BBQ with the prof was ok, the food was GREAT. Some new stuff that's totally inspiring:
1) Potato salad with gherkins
2) Some odd Greek Salad (D's doing, I bet) which used a mint oil infusion as a base. Totally refreshing!
**
Was showering just now, and used Dove's moisturetherapy shampoo (the dark blue bottle). The smell totally brought back waves of bittersweet nostalgia, from my time in Glasgow. A mere 3 weeks there (ok, 5, including holidays), but memories to last a lifetime. I'm glad I made it there in the end.
Which reminds me, I need to email this vet student soon. And Mike. And Prof.
**
Losing interest in all my stuff. Yes. "Uh oh, we're back at it again." Loss of appetite too. Sleeping less. Eerie dreams. Early morning (like 2am, mind) wakenings. I'm not tending to my fish tank, or my plants, I'm not visiting my plant and fish forums, I'm not as enthusiastic about dance as before.
On the other hand ...
Waiting impatiently for new toys to arrive - this is the worst part, the waiting. I want them now!! At least I'll have something to do, something new to get used to.
There's still the issue of purchasing my own copy of Windows XP. The fucking school's laptop plan is a HUGE ripoff. The computers don't come with the installation CDs (so Windows belongs to the school) and we pay $20 each time we need to reload it. Come on, what sort of crap is this? In effect, the "discount" we get is not a discount at all - it's simply a laptop sans the rights of owning your own OS.
Shall update food blog too, regarding an oyster shooter recipe. (Rames, if you're reading this, you've gotta try it!)
**
The little boy during his walk today ... we drove out of the gate, and spotted him sitting on a little turf several metres away staring intently at the car - like a cute, furry gargoyle. =D
Wenky
11:43 PM
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Saturday, September 16, 2006
Not quite, not quite. I know desperation, this is not quite it yet. Still, I need to get my ass moving SOON. Get it done and over with! Finish it up! One more To-Do into the bin!
New stuff ain't arriving till first week of next month, so it'll be quite a wait. Alas.
Had a lovely session again at kbox last night, pity I forgot to bring my camera! Crazily fun to shoot vids of siao-ness, and then review them all again later. I like this branch! Service staff were extremely polite, and barging into the room was so minimal compared to Clementi's (I wouldn't even call this barging - they knock, apologise, and later thank you. Nice!)
Urgh. BBQ later tonight with yx's prof - AGAIN. Not too keen, not too keen. I'm seeing more of him than I'm getting comfortable with, so perhaps I'll run off early today. Skipped out on this morning's dance as well, but honestly it's so silly. OK, getting very upset. Too much dancing, I think, but it's the only way I'm getting any exercise at all (other than prowling the wards, that is.)
Wenky
10:03 AM
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Thursday, September 14, 2006
"et, fateor, medicus turpiter aeger eram."
Sick, but not physicially.
I'm trying. Got myself a hugely-expensive new toy tonight, a decision which may haunt me for at least a year till I can repay these emotional debts. Had laughter today. Had pranks. Had friends. And more friends tomorrow night. Also had a jolly good time having some great cookery inspiration tonight - thanks for listening to my strange babblings and somewhat overly-creative menus.
Physician, heal thyself - indeed.
A load of rubbish piling up, as usual. I'm using the new purchase as an emotional wager, something to spin me (hopefully) into the usual, half-crazed frenzy of pure concentration and drive that I know I can achieve - been there, done that - but which has so far evaded me.
Oh, as a fancy touch, I inscribed the verse "primum non nocere" onto one of the new purchases. A constant reminder, perhaps, of why I'm doing this. Would have done a William Osler quote instead (Prof Low would have been immensely proud of me), but there's just not enough space.
Wenky
11:28 PM
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Talking rot already. Feeling concerned about my behavior, this avolition is not warranted at all. Need true motivation, it's time to wake the dormant self. Too much slumber all these years. Wakey wakey!
As I said, talking rot. A lot of it.
Wenky
7:29 AM
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
We've always known right at the beginning, even about how this night will be like. There's never preparation enough for it, and no telling of what the shadow cast for the rest of our lives will be like. It's never easy. Not when it's never your choice, and you've never asked for this in the first place.
Perhaps, just keep true to yourself. You are you, nothing more and nothing less, and when imbalance threatens, there's always someone out there for you.
Wenky
11:34 PM
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Went down to Union Square again tonight, and was
so thankful that Montyelm and Tracy Jie-Jie were there! Hope it wasn't too stodgy for you guys. Would normally have been hell for me, since being the only male around in the group isn't fun at all ... you get bugged no end, especially when the crowd there isn't exactly your type. Hmm. At least Tracy got to flirt with the Brazilian/Dominican singer! She soooo totally loved him. Ooooh. At least it's been a rapid learning session - basic footwork, simple turns and a double-handed turn all in the space of like 30 minutes of real work? (The rest was really just practice.) Excellent. I'm a terrible teacher though at salsa, since I'm rather thrashy myself. My apologies. I'm sooo thankful for the company, really!! Perhaps I understand a little why Tracy is so into tap-dancing. Perhaps the slightly more-intelligent tend to go for the less-mainstream! =p Muahahahahahahaha! OK, that was mean. It's quite irksome though, when you try to learn something that the whole world is learning. Perhaps it's just a problem with me. I like carving out niches. Why work so hard to reach standards that others have already reached? Set your own! OK, just being competitive again. I don't like being rubbish at things, and salsa is one of those that I'm utter rubbish at. Better a big fish in a small pond. And we suspect a majority of these young people are out there with an ulterior motive. Not too decent, is it? We should formulate our own dance!
Had dinner before that at this Autrian cafe. Fare wasn't top-notch (then again, it wouldn't be reasonable to expect more at $69 for 4 people!), but it was definitely good. All sorts of stuff, loads of sausages, sauerkraut, bread dumplings and tasty bread (yeasty to me, tasty to the other 3 apparently). Coffee wasn't quite my kind though, but all the same, I got myself 250g of beans to try out at home. It was awfully bitter with a really tangy, sourish end. Very acidic, I suppose.
Hope sleep will come to me tonight.
Wenky
12:28 AM
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Monday, September 11, 2006
Here we go again.
Deadlines:
11 Sept
12 Sept
18 Sept
1 Oct
Wenky
7:18 AM
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Sunday, September 10, 2006
Alas. The very last minutes of our pathetic break. Deeply troubled. It's going to be a mad marathon from now on, what with 6 weeks of crap looming overhead. Next 2 weeks will be the last honeymoon, and it's mostly revision-in-preparation-for-SIP time, followed by fatigue, study, fatigue, study, PLUS some writeup deadlines to meet - and just when you thought it's FINALLY over, the bulk of the revision stuff hits you in the face and it's an all-or-nothing, do-it-or-die dash to the end. Concurrently, others are facing even more shit.
Right, depressing stuff aside ... I guess it's sadness on a different level. Let's just take things as they come.
It's actually been a lovely break. I got to visit my gran in Malaysia, have loads of Me Time, do quite a bit of tank maintenance, visit several aquarium shops and garden centres, added a new CP to my collection, and had enough sleep for the first time in ages. A few things undone, however. Alas!!
Loads of dancing too! Let's see .. Tues - 2 hours, Fri - 2 hours, Sat - 3 hours, Sun - 1 hour. Quite alarming actually, considering I also played through-the-night mahjong with Monty etc on Friday night. So it was Friday 7-9pm rigorous dancing, Friday 10-4am mahjong, Saturday morning 9am-1pm more dancing. My, and I'm still alive.
Anyway, just a minor incident on Thurs. I went to Cold Storage to get some supplies, and by chance saw these 5-pack stockings on sale at the counter at $5 each. EXACTLY what I've been looking for, so I can put activated carbon in them (using them as filter bags) and dump them into the tank. So I asked the lady how much they cost. I must have been whispering (wouldn't you??), as she replied instead, "Oh, those are SOCKS." Grrr. I repeated my question a little louder this time, and ended up buying them. The poor woman was struggling not to look too surprised
(I think she expected me not to buy them, and was slightly alarmed that she said they were "socks" and that I might have taken her literally and bought them for my own use). I didn't bother to elaborate. It would have been even MORE cranky to try telling her I'm putting charcoal in those stockings.
Wenky
11:06 PM
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Thursday, September 07, 2006
CRAP. I'm so lost in my own world, I thought tomorrow's THURSDAY! OMG OMG OMG my precious holidays just zipped right past me! Must have been that trip to Malaysia. Anyway, I did manage to get to the population of U.aurea in the end, did some water parameter measurements and wrote a rather lengthy report in one of the local CP forums.
Tank-wise:
Visited coral farm on Tues, and bought 1 Sarcophyton (the wang4 wang4 xue3 bing3 finger coral) and 2 very lovely pieces of clove polyps!
Re-instated my skimmer today, set it to wet skimming and gosh .. the crud that The Little Skimmer That Could pulled out! 2 cms of nasty, brown gunk.
Removed calcium reactor, found that the Maxijet's nozzle was actually broken. Fixed it back on with PVC glue, double-sealed it and left to dry for an hour, and later I'll be sealing in the whole thing using silicone glue. Pray hard that this works.
Measured nitrate today, fell to 25ppm. 10pppm more to go!!
Wenky
11:02 PM
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Wednesday, September 06, 2006
2 hours before setting off, I discovered my passport was missing! A wild and wonderful search began, all the time with me feeling all feverish from morning dehydration and the added exercise stress. Finally found the thing which fell into a corner (2 feet away from where I spend 60% of my room time at), and now my room looks like Hurricane Katrina just ripped right through it.
Well, going off soon on a search mission for Utricularia aurea, hopefully the population we found will still be there!! Going to cork some sample water back too, to test for parameters. It's very intruiging how come these can flourish in that stagnated water and yet disintegrate within 3 days after being brought back home.
Tank Repairs 2006 put on hold for today - perhaps tonight, I'll remove the calcium reactor and set up the protein skimmer again. Shall measure nitrates before I leave - phosphate, strontium, calcium and carbonate measurements tonight.
Wenky
9:28 AM
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Urghh. Did plenty of lifting - girls that is - on my back today cos we were doing sunny side-ups during practice. Oh! And some new step called the Double Lasso or something like that.
Back to the Tank Repairs 2006 - I was so going to search for my spare 250W ballast box already, until I plugged in the "spoilt" 150W lamp and found that it still worked! So yay, one less thing to settle! Also did some thinking about the problem of the new tank, here's the tentative deal:
Stuff To Keep:
- Metal halide lighting - not rich enough to get a new set, but depending on new tank's dimensions, I may (or may not) need 3 sets instead of the current 2
- Rio Seio wavemaker - once again, not rich enough to afford a Tunze, so this'll have to stay
- Branch rock from Tonga - pretty rare stuff, and expensive to buy again
- Clownfish, Mandarin fish, Sand dollar. I'd have beaten myself up if these had died.
- Chiller - plus/minus, once again depending on new tank's dimensions (seriously, SERIOUSLY thinking of upgrading to a 6-footer this time) If still at 4 feet I can keep this 1/4 HP chiller, but if 6 feet I'll need to think about getting a 1/2 HP chiller instead.
- Calcium reactor - arghhhhhhhhhhhhh. I want a new one. But can't afford.
- Fluidised reactor - see above.
- Of course, all the additives will come in useful.
Stuff to sell:
- The tank. Possibly give away.
- My 2 trusty return pumps. Definitely going to upgrade to a Resun MD55, or if I can afford it (I doubt), an Iwaki MX70.
- Protein skimmer. I NEED to upgrade. This one is seriously under-sized for the tank.
- Live sand - give away.
- Live rock - sell off I think.
- Engineer goby - f*cking nuisance. Although I'll miss it, kept it from barely larger than a tadpole into the current monstrosity. If I'm allowed to keep a second tank (that's pushing it though), I'll keep it in a fish-only tank.
- Panther grouper - will DEFINITELY miss it. And Yx's nagging at me to keep the cutesy little thing. If I have a second tank, once again. (Yx, we can't possibly fit the grouper into a nano tank in the bedroom!)
Ahhh .. plenty of ideas about a second tank. Shit, wish I could! All those delectable, non-reef safe fish like niger triggers, frogfish, lionfish, flame angels, dwarf moray eels, rhinopias scorpionfish (have to pimp myself out to afford this one), clown triggers, blah blah. OK, stop dreaming. =(
Wenky
11:47 PM
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Before I launch into my rattle,
here's something interesting. The world would be so much more interesting if this occured frequently! Kinda like the fascination and joy of learning something new when we were kids.
Anyway, I'm back at fixing the tank full-time during this break. A long story short, the tank crashed when I was away in Scotland. For some odd reason (I think because the 150W metal halide burst), some of the lovely rose bubble-tip anemones died and fouled up the entire tank. Yx called me up and promptly threw in a load of activated carbon, thereby saving some of the livestock. The tank now looks horrid though, but most of the fish are still alive. Measured my nitrates today, and it was a HORRENDOUS 50 ppm!
Changed out 60 litres of water today, soaked the protein skimmer in vinegar to dissolve the layers of coralline algae on it, washed out the fluidised reactor and filled it with fresh Rowaphos, bought new carbon, hooked up the calcium reactor and took out a tonne of miscellanous useless stuff from the sump (UV steriliser etc).
OK, my calcium reactor leaked, but that's another long story. Going to fix that tomorrow I think.
Anyway, the dilemma. I'm going to have to part with this tank pretty soon I think, somewhere next year. The thing is, should I then be trying to do anything to it now? Or just sell of whatever junk I can sell, decomission it and live without a tank for 9 months or a year?
Serious questions.
Wenky
7:49 PM
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To quote:
"He started off great but after about 4-5 months, he turned into a zombie.......developing a taste for brains that is. My wife and myself were very upset. But we knew there was a chance that something like this might happen. You can see all our brains in our gallery. So now we are brainless."
It's funny when you read it out of context - the discussion was actually on foxfaces (a kind of herbivorous fish, or locally known as "rabbitfish", the one with venomous spines and bitter tummies that we eat during chinese new year) and this guy was complaining that his foxface developed a taste for brain corals.
The kind we eat:
The kind we keep:
Wenky
9:07 AM
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Saturday, September 02, 2006
OK, too much time on my hands right now. Compiled a
slideshow of all my plants!
Wenky
6:44 AM
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